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Do Narcissists Like To Cuddle?

"Do narcissists like to cuddle? Cuddling, a common expression of intimacy and affection, raises intriguing questions when it comes to individuals with narcissistic traits. Exploring the dynamics of cuddling with narcissists can shed light on their peculiar needs and desires within relationships.

Isabelle Aoki
Isabelle Aoki
Dec 01, 20234.3K Shares100.5K Views
Jump to
  1. Who Is A Narcissist?
  2. Why Do People Cuddle?
  3. How Do Men And Women Differ In Cuddling?
  4. Health Benefits Of Cuddling
  5. Do Narcissists Avoid Intimacy?
  6. Signs To Know If Narcissists Like To Cuddle Or Not
  7. Can Narcissists Be Affectionate?
  8. Can You Lure In The Narcissist Through Cuddling Or Involving Physical Touch?
  9. Do Narcissists Like To Cuddle - FAQs
  10. Conclusion
Do Narcissists Like To Cuddle?

Have you ever wondered if narcissists enjoy cuddling as much as the rest of us? It's an intricate question that explores the universe of human connections and emotions. Even though narcissists are typically perceived as self-centred and empathetic, do narcissists like to cuddle?

In this article, we'll explore if narcissists actually enjoy cuddling or if their personality qualities prevent them from having these kinds of moments of affection using a combination of study data and anecdotes from real life. We'll investigate what influences their snuggling habits and see if a change in behaviour is possible.

So, continue reading to learn more about the sensitive side of narcissists and how snuggling fits into the scheme of things. It's an intriguing examination of a subject that speaks to our most basic needs for connection and love.

Who Is A Narcissist?

Gentle Couple Touching Each Other Under Duvet
Gentle Couple Touching Each Other Under Duvet

A person with narcissistic tendencies or Narcissistic Personality Disorder (NPD) is referred to as a narcissist. A persistent grandiosity pattern, an insatiable desire for praise, and a lack of empathy for other people define a combination of psychological traits and actions known as narcissism. The following are some salient features and attributes frequently linked to narcissists:


A distorted sense of self-importance characterises narcissists. Many times, people think they are better than others, exceptional, or one-of-a-kind. A continual demand for praise and attention is only one way that this conceited self-image can appear.

Need For Admiration

Excessive admiration and approval from others is what narcissists need. They need to be praised and given attention all the time to keep their delicate self-esteem intact. To feel better about themselves, they could insult others, fish for compliments, or boast about their accomplishments.

Absence Of Empathy

It is difficult for narcissists to understand the needs and feelings of others. They frequently downplay or ignore the feelings of people who are close to them. Healthy relationships may be complicated to sustain when there is a lack of empathy.

Manipulative Conduct

Narcissists may employ deceit, exploitation, or manipulation to forward their agendas. They frequently put their demands and wants ahead of other people's well-being, which causes interpersonal problems and injury.

The Feeling Of Being Entitled

Narcissists might think they should be treated differently or that they are above the law. When they don't get the special treatment they feel they deserve, they might get offended or furious.

It is noteworthy that narcissism is a spectrum disorder; not all individuals displaying narcissistic tendencies also have narcissistic personality disorder. These characteristics are widespread and persistent and severely hinder a person's capacity to function in a variety of spheres of life, such as relationships, employment, and general well-being. NPD is a recognized mental health disorder.

Comprehending narcissism is crucial for identifying and navigating interactions with people who display these characteristics. Additionally, it's critical to address the subject with compassion and understanding since people who exhibit narcissistic tendencies may also be dealing with personal fears and emotional difficulties.

African American Couple Hugging and Dancing Near Balloons in Apartment
African American Couple Hugging and Dancing Near Balloons in Apartment

Why Do People Cuddle?

Though it usually makes us feel wonderful, why are we driven to this level of intimacy? First and foremost, it's critical to recognize that touch is fundamental to human nature.

A growing body of studies on physical affection demonstrates the positive physical health effects of connecting with another person. Regular snuggling can help lower cortisol, inflammation, and blood pressure.

Additionally, cuddling releases oxytocin, commonly referred to as the "love" or "cuddle" hormone. When we connect emotionally with another person, we release oxytocin. It's the same hormone that helps a newborn, and its mother form a close attachment throughout childbirth and nursing.

You usually feel safer and more at ease when you snuggle with someone you love. Cuddling couples typically express more significant levels of happiness in their relationships. They also suggest fewer disruptions to sleep.

Finally, studies suggest that snuggling together has effects comparable to those of therapeutic touch, which suggests that regular cuddling may even lessen the symptoms of chronic pain. Put another way, we snuggle because it feels nice, and we appear to know deep down that it's excellent for our bodily and emotional well-being.

How Do Men And Women Differ In Cuddling?

It's a frequent stereotype among heterosexual couples that men like to sleep after sex while women want to snuggle. Is this phrase really accurate, or is it merely a clever plot device used in romantic comedies?

It turns out that there is more to the solution than meets the eye—first, a significant factor in explaining post-sex behavior may be biology. After an orgasm, the body produces a lot of neurotransmitters that might make you feel sleepy. This impact may affect males more than women.

Men's testosterone levels rise after intercourse. Occasionally, they nod off. Other times, though, they go on to a more tangible activity, like showering, smoking, or getting something to eat, in order to maintain that testosterone "high." Conversely, women are more likely to enjoy their oxytocin surge.

Moreover, women are frequently socialized to think that closeness and sex go hand in hand. As a result, the post-sex snuggling or pillow chat may seem equally as significant as the actual physical pleasure. Men can still benefit from intimacy, even if they may not seem to enjoy it as much as women do.

Though there isn't much data on the subject, one study that looked at long-term relationships found that men who said they kissed or cuddled with their spouses frequently were, on average, three times more pleased with their relationships than men who indicated less love.

It's interesting to see that women were unaffected significantly by more cuddle time. Nevertheless, greater levels of sexual satisfaction were linked to greater levels of physical affection. Both men and women could attest to this, with women reporting that the sex got better over time.

Delighted Couple Lying on Bed in Cozy Bedroom and Cuddling
Delighted Couple Lying on Bed in Cozy Bedroom and Cuddling

Health Benefits Of Cuddling

We were created with the innate ability to connect and share with others. Physical contact follows suit, and it has several health advantages.

Cuddling Reduces Stress

Your body releases the hormone oxytocin when you snuggle with someone you love. Oxytocin promotes calmness, which is beneficial in stressful situations and facilitates sound sleep at night.

The "stress" hormone cortisol is known to be lowered by cuddling, and it can also reduce blood pressure, both of which promote relaxation.

Cuddling Can Help With Pain Reduction

Interestingly, oxytocin is a natural pain reliever since it blocks pain signals when they are produced throughout the body. Therefore, by hugging a hurting child, you are really assisting them in reducing their level of discomfort organically.

The same holds for holding a spouse who is experiencing bodily or mental discomfort. Hugging each other tightly will ease the other person's tension and lessen their sense of agony.

Cuddling Fosters Relationships

Couples that value their kisses and cuddles more frequently are happier, healthier, and have stronger bonds with one another. This is a result of their bodies containing far more of the "love" hormone, oxytocin.

Being near and connected to your spouse through cuddling may foster emotions of safety, trust, and the freedom to be open and vulnerable. Increase your snuggling in a relationship if you want to make it closer since that is where real intimacy is found.

Cuddling Boosts Your Immune System

Cuddling releases serotonin, the hormone associated with happiness, in addition to oxytocin, the hormone associated with relaxation. The combination of the two hormones strengthens your immune system.

According to studies, those who hug more frequently had a lower risk of contracting the virus that causes colds, and those who do display symptoms less often.

Do Narcissists Avoid Intimacy?

It is not about closeness or mutual happiness for the narcissist; instead, it is about self-gratification, power, and ego enhancement through sexual activity.

The narcissist is more concerned with gaining domination and keeping control over others than with any other goal. The pursuit of intimacy should not be a top goal; rather, it should be avoided. Therefore, the correct response to the question "Does a narcissist like to be touched?" is "yes," but only if it's their idea and it's done on their terms.

It would be preferable if it had as little as possible to do with intimacy or connection. If you feel the want to protest, "But he's different from me," it's likely because the narcissist has convinced you that you are unique to them and that you are the center of their universe. And in a way, it is precisely what you are.

They like to play with you more than anything else. If you have any reason to believe that this is not the case, go ahead and ask them for a hug on your terms simply because you want to connect with them on a more profound level. Watch the manner in which they respond very carefully.

Ender Couple Cuddling in Living Room at Home
Ender Couple Cuddling in Living Room at Home

Signs To Know If Narcissists Like To Cuddle Or Not

They Take Every Opportunity To Touch You

In terms of a relationship with a narcissist, this may indicate that they like cuddling even if it appears to be something to be sought (which it usually is). This is usually more noticeable in the early stages of a relationship.

Their Ex-Partners Confirm Your Suspicion

Would you be following your partner's former partner's advice? Though it's not a common occurrence, you could hear their ex confirm that your spouse enjoys cuddling if you get in touch with them for whatever reason.

They Have Informed You

Telling you that your narcissistic partner enjoys cuddling isn't entirely inappropriate. The consequences of snuggling might make them more forthcoming with you, given that they like being the object of affection and physical approval.

They Even Sleep Better When You Cuddle

Think about what transpired the last time you were allowed to snuggle with them at night for a while. How did they rest? Were they able to get a good night's sleep, or did they lie up all night long?

Do narcissists enjoy sharing a hug? If they sleep better after you cuddle, that may be a good indication that they like it.

They Expect You To Do It On Their Terms

Examining the dynamics of your relationship's cuddling sessions is one of the simplest methods to learn about the connection between sexual narcissists and snuggling. Who is the most submissive to the other person? Who is it, you or them?

Asking for a cuddle this time, but on your terms, is a simple exercise you can do. Keep an eye on their response; it may reveal something about their true feelings.

They Could Act As Though They're Having Fun

Even if the narcissist doesn't really love snuggling, if they know the person they wish to manipulate enjoys it, they could nevertheless indulge in it or seem as though they do.

It's also crucial to remember that when you snuggle with someone, your body releases oxytocin, sometimes known as the "bonding hormone." The following is a cycle of emotional and psychological abuse that all narcissists participate in;

  • Idealization (a lot of love and devotion)
  • Depreciation (not showing affection)
  • Rejection (disturbing the relationship)

After that, the cycle is repeated.

They Come From A Touchy-Feely Family

Studies have demonstrated that a person's early familial experiences have an impact on the caliber of their love relationships in later life.

This suggests that when people get older and enter into romantic relationships, they are more likely to repeat the lessons they learned from their families throughout their formative years.

Thus, are narcissists fond of cuddling? The quality of your partner's familial life influences their perception of snuggling, albeit this may not hold for everyone. Your spouse would likely like snuggling just as much as you do if they were raised in a home where touching is considered a sign of affection.

They Have Asked You If You Like Cuddling At Some Point

This may have happened while enjoying a cup of coffee, chatting, or enjoying the afterglow of passionate kissing.

The fact that someone has inquired about this is one of the most precise indicators that they enjoy cuddling, narcissist or not. It may be their attempt to allow you into their heads, even if they try to laugh it off afterward.

They Can't Let You Go

How they relate to you is another clue to watch out for, particularly after the initial excitement of your connection has faded. During the love bombing phase of a relationship, a narcissist will give you a lot of affection and attention.

Assume that after a respectable amount of time together, they still tend to be too affectionate toward you (particularly when they do not need to try and hold you). If so, this might indicate that you are interacting with a narcissist who enjoys cuddling.

Happy Ethnic Couple Lying in Bed With Dog During Lazy Weekend at Home
Happy Ethnic Couple Lying in Bed With Dog During Lazy Weekend at Home

Can Narcissists Be Affectionate?

Without a doubt. As you are already aware, most narcissists exhibit a lot of affection while they are love-bombing. In fact, when you first start dating, they usually behave too controlling and affectionate. Let's examine the lifetime of affectionate and touch narcissism.

The Phase Of Love-Bombing

Narcissists frequently believe their strong emotions are consuming them at the beginning of a relationship. Their lives seem to be missing a puzzle piece, and they want to express their gratitude to you with an unending supply of love and devotion.

These behaviors aren't maliciously manipulative; at that particular time, you're experiencing a honeymoon period and are experiencing a range of emotions.

For newlyweds, the love-bombing phase can be disorienting. Your significant other may constantly give you compliments and wax lyrical about how much they adore you.

They desire to be together every day. They talk about how you're meant to be married or have soulmates and that no one else can truly comprehend them. The narcissist has a knack for making it appear as though everything will be well, even when it feels like things are moving quickly, and they generally do.

The period of "love-bombing" may extend for a few weeks or months. You can feel that the narcissist is obsessed with you throughout this period. They think you're flawless. You can then experience total obsession, as though they've absorbed every aspect of you.

What Happens After Love-Bombing Ends?

Love-bombing in long-term relationships eventually comes to an end. Narcissists always seem to discover problems with their spouses. Anything that deflates their idealized visions of love and connection might be problematic since they tend to view the world in extremes.

The narcissist usually quits love-bombing when the relationship gets too secure or routine. For instance, you may begin establishing boundaries by stating that you would want to hang out with friends more. Alternatively, maybe you don't want to have sex as often.

These limits are typical, anticipated developments in love partnerships. Any of these little adjustments, though, might set off their delicate ego and result in narcissistic fury. The idea has evolved; you are still flawed and unfailing.

The narcissist finds this transition confusing. They are now left feeling exposed once more. They don't know if their requirements will all be satisfied in the future. As a result, they manage by manipulating and controlling others as best they can.

Even if you are aware that you have done nothing wrong, the narcissist will begin gaslighting you as soon as they feel threatened. They want you to feel bad about hurting them or about abruptly changing. Additionally, they yearn for things to go back to how they were—that is, for everything to feel flawless all the time.

Can You Lure In The Narcissist Through Cuddling Or Involving Physical Touch?

Narcissists are often said to have vigorous sex urges and like physical contact because they lack self-control and are quickly sidetracked by someone they believe to be superior to their existing relationships. Physical contact, including kissing, hugging, and other types of physical closeness, can be used to entice a narcissist.

However, keep in mind that the only people who can be drawn in are somatic and sexual narcissists since your offers of physical closeness and snuggling can draw them in. Physical connection alone is not likely to attract malicious and intellectual narcissists.

Do Narcissists Like To Cuddle - FAQs

Can A Narcissist Learn How To Cuddle?

Yes, however, it could take some time before they feel secure enough to establish physical contact if they're afraid of appearing weak or losing control of the situation.

Can You Have A Successful Relationship With A Narcissist?

It is possible to have a good relationship with a narcissist, but it may be difficult and demanding on both sides.

What Are Narcissists Like In Bed?

Sexual narcissists anticipate getting their way during sexual relations, regardless of how irrational or nonconsensual their demands may be.


By the end, the inquiry into the intricate dynamics of narcissistic personalities and intimacy, "Do narcissists like to cuddle?" Although it's easy to generalize that narcissists are entirely heartless, the truth is more complex. While some people may find pleasure in snuggling, their actions are frequently motivated by their need for approval and vulnerability anxiety.

Navigating relationships with selfish people can be made more accessible by realizing that narcissism is a spectrum disorder and that change is achievable with expert assistance. While some narcissists may like cuddling, it's essential to take into account both individual differences in their behavior and attitudes toward intimacy as well as the larger setting.

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